Size matters

As a girl of sizable, er, size, I will confidently tell you that size matters. And no, I’m not talking about my own size (for once). I’m talking about men. And no, I’m not talking about the size of their, er, spirit stick. I’m talking about their vertical size. Their height.

I am 5 feet, 8 inches tall. Not a giant. But since I have hips and thighs to spare, the entire mixture can certainly make me feel self-conscious about reaching giant status. And so size matters to me. I need a guy to be taller than me. But not because of physical specifications - because of the way it makes me feel.

Antiquated customs say that the man is the protector. He will shield you from harm in his manly way. Inherently, a woman is still looking for someone to protect her. Some look for it in age (daddy complex). Some look for it in wealth (money complex). And me? I look for it in height. I have a size complex.

I have enough problems with feeling feminine with my personal size complex. Add a shorty into the mix and all feelings of femininity are gone. Suddenly I’m the protector. If a mugger were to come attack us, I’d feel responsible for our well-being. After all, I’d most likely weigh more, and that means I’d pack a meaner punch.

But pair me with a man who is taller and I can at least PRETEND he weighs more than me. The world won’t look at us and wonder what the logistics are. He bends down to kiss me, maybe he can pick me up, badda bing badda boom it makes sense. And that’s why size matters. So I don’t have to worry about dwarfing the one who’s supposed to theoretically protect me.

Now hopefully I didn’t set women back a thousand years with that diatribe, but clearly it’s all stemming from a regression to talking about my own size and what it means in the world. If I were a smaller girl - and by height and bone structure alone, I’ll never be THAT much smaller - I wouldn’t have this great concern.

Take a look around you at the skinny women that are part of a couple. Now look at their male counterparts. Their sizes vary far greater than that of the girls. Skinny girls have their pick of the litter. Tall guys, short guys, fat guys, skinny guys. They make all of them work. If the guy is shorter, no big deal! He can still pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and run away from imminent danger. If the guy is fat, no one thinks she’s slumming - they assume he has a stellar personality. Unfortunately, even though it may be true, they wouldn’t think that way if the girl was bigger. And there would be endless comments if she were bigger both vertically and horizontally. Odd couple comments.

You could deny that to me until you’re blue in the face, but the only reason you’d have to is because it’s true.

But sometimes the rules of the universe suck. And there’s nothing you can do about it but identify the rule and try to work within it. So I recognize that size matters. On all accounts. And I’m trying to work it in any way I can.