I remember standing in a hallway, looking around, wondering how I got there. In front of me was the door to the BC radio station, a place I hadn’t been since earlier in the year when I thought about joining the radio station, naively thinking that a love of music was all you needed, completely neglecting the necessities of skinny jeans, horn rim glasses, and a perfectly coiffed bed head. Luckily I had figured it out with just one trip to the lair that was the radio station. But I digress, as none of that answers the question as to how I got there.
It all started a few weeks into my second semester math class. Side note number one: I hate math and had I gotten one point higher on the AP Calculus test, I wouldn’t have had to take it. Alas that wasn’t the case. Side note number two: the class was at 9 am. I am not a morning person. So that should give you an indicator to my mindset during this course.
There was a guy who sat in my general vicinity. The teacher would refer to him as Martin - that is, when he actually participated and spoke, which wasn’t often. I only noticed him as the guy who wore pajamas and looked half asleep. Until one fateful day when the professor was handing back our first quizzes or tests. Professor Volpe goes up to Martin and says:
“Your name isn’t Martin, is it?”
The student formerly known as Martin looks back at him and shakes his head no. Professor Volpe inevitably asks, “Then what is your name?”
“Robert.”
What? This kid is named Robert, but he let the professor call him Martin - not a derivative of Robert as far as I know - for a good month? Color me interested.
I started Paying attention to Martin/Robert more. Sat a little closer, trying to observe his behavior as a way to get me through the tedium of probability. He was growing a beard at the time, so that certainly piqued my interest even more. As I believe I’ve established, I’m a huge fan of beards.
I told my friends on my floor about this mysterious character, and my Facebook obsessed roommate suggested a Facebook stalk was in order. I had since found out his full name - Robert Burke - and took to the interwebs. I typed in his name, eager to find out more. There were a few matches at BC, but none were him. Now this struck me as odd, because this was far enough into freshman year that EVERYONE had Facebook. I tried again, thinking perhaps I spelled something wrong (unlikely since I am of reasonable intellect and it’s not a hard name to spell). Nada.
My Facebook savvy friends suggested trying just his last name. As a last ditch effort, I listened. We scrolled through the Burkes. Finally I come across his photo. There Martin/Robert stands in a Velvet Underground t-shirt - a great find after the tough search. But what was his name? Was I reading that right? It wasn’t Robert Burke, no. Not Martin Burke either. It was Matt Burke. Matt. M-A-T-T. What in God’s name is this kid’s deal? Color me intrigued.
Weird occurrences followed - awkward exchanges that made absolutely no sense. He would look at me during class but not say anything. He would sit behind me, stretch himself into me, and when I would turn around he would merely smile. He would say hi at the END of class, then walk away. I would see him walking in front of me on my way to the dining hall for breakfast, but never see him in the actual dining hall.
And yes, yes that was how I got there. One day, in a fit of frustration at not being able to crack the nut that was Martin/Robert/Matt, I followed him discreetly one day. I saw him take a turn I never took before, and watched him walk down a hallway and enter the radio station. So all I knew about him then - nay, to this day - was that he had a passion for music.
Martin dropped out of my life after class, and my interest slowly waned as I realized that I’d probably never figure his deal out. I’d see him every so often, and our interactions were always similar to those of math class.
Instead of learning the probability of winning a March Madness bracket, I should have asked Professor Volpe the probability of figuring out which three names Martin/Robert/Matt ACTUALLY went by.
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