Say Yes to the Idea of the Dress

I love weddings in spite of myself. I watch the shows, I gaze longingly at the magazines, and I think about what my one-day-wedding will look like. I don’t like that I love them, but I do. So sue me.

I would consider myself a modern woman. I am career driven. I now live in an apartment in New York City on my own, paying my own way. When I am married and the first of the brood comes, I plan to go back to work, knowing I would be bored by the prospect of being a stay-at-home mom. Yet the antiquated idea of wearing a frilly white princess dress in a church, declaring love and devotion to a man in front of everyone is totally and utterly appealing to me - whether it’s thoughts of my own (hopefully) future wedding or someone else’s.

TV shows like Say Yes to the Dress certainly aren’t helping matters. Women of all shapes and sizes walk in, armed with a picture of the dream gown and a perfect love story. Shows like this could have existed in the 1950s, but in the 70s and 80s? Never. Women’s liberation would not have allowed it. Instead we had images of Melanie Griffiths slipping out of her sneakers and into her heels as she ran to work in her big shoulder pads. Sure, there was Harrison Ford to contend with, but in the end she was dealing with her future. And there was no talk of donning a princess frock and stand in front of a minister.

And what happens when and if my wedding day does come? Will it even live up to the expectations that wedding shows have set out for me?

I have a vision stepping into a store and a sales clerk literally floating on a cloud to come greet me, bringing me ten dresses and purposefully giving me four of the wrong ones to try on first just so I know I’ve found the right one.

I have a second vision of David Tutera becoming my best friend as we plan the wedding, encouraging me to dream big and offering to foot the bill for the extras.

And then I have the vision of the day a la 27 Dresses, where everyone turns to look at me when I walk down the aisle, but I’m only focusing on my groom.

Are these all unrealistic visions that are bound to disappoint? It’s possible. But hopefully not the last one. That’s the most important. And that’s really the whole point of the other stuff, right? Which makes me think that maybe it’s not so bad to venerate weddings.