When Andre Agassi started off his tennis career, he could be seen on television spots in his awful denim tennis shorts and his unnecessary mullet staring into the camera and saying, “Image is everything.” It was an apropos sentiment for the 80s, a time when yuppies and punks alike were proving themselves based on clothing and hairstyle alone. But there’s more to Andre’s (read: Canon’s advertiser’s) words - put into another context, I believe they have greater weight and meaning.
When it comes to meeting members of the opposite sex, image really is everything. It’s important in getting someone to approach you. It’s important in getting someone to see you as more than a friend. It’s important in being the type of person a guy (or girl) wants to show off to their friends. It’s just downright important.
I have encountered proof to this hypothesis when chatting with male friends about their thoughts on a certain girl. I’ll have a judgment about the girl in mind and ask what they think about her. I have found that nine times out of ten, even if the girl is bitchy or crazy, if she’s pretty the man will answer with a “she’s great, I really like her.” Their judgment has been completely clouded by big boobs, a nice ass, and an incomparable way with makeup. Now while I respect the fact that aesthetic beauty is something to be appreciated, I am not quite sure how it can completely ascribe certain aspects of a girl’s personality that simply aren’t there. How is it that guys are able to look past personality flaws in favor of a flawless physicality?
The opposite is true, as well. A guy can speak to a girl that he gets along with really well. He could love talking to her, laugh at all her jokes, go to her for advice. But if he didn’t think she was attractive to begin with, or immediately want to jump her bones, chances are that feeling is never going to change. He’ll label her as a friend and be happy to stay like that forever more.
Are women any different? We are absolutely more emotional beings than men, that much has been proven, but can a man change our minds based on how they treat us and how well we get along? I can’t speak for most girls, but I know I can be swayed. I once befriended a guy I wasn’t attracted to at all, but once I got to know him and realized how compatible we were I grew to like him as more. That story didn’t have a happy ending (as evidenced by this blog's title), but the phenomenon did happen.
But was it because of the compatibility and the mistaken chemistry, or was it because I was fooled into thinking that friendship translated into more? It’s a question I’m often asking myself in terms of relationships. But that’s a problem best tackled for another day, another blog post: My own personal what came first, the chicken or the egg.
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