(500) Days of Summer has a sequence towards the end of the movie where Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character, Tom, goes to his ex girlfriend, Summer’s house for a party on the roof. He goes hoping that reality will match up with his expectations. He expects to be greeted with a kiss - he isn’t. He expects to have alone time with her - he doesn’t. He expects to be the only guy she’s interested in - he’s not. In fact, it’s this moment in which he finds out that Summer hasn’t only gotten over him, she’s moved on to another guy she actually loves. And they’re getting married.
I am no stranger to grand expectations. Reality often has a way of not just kicking my expectations to the wayside, but ploughing a giant snow bank over them as well. Maybe it’s my writerly nature, always thinking about the perfect way the story of my life could go. I’ll go out with a guy I like, we’ll hang out, it’ll become increasingly clear that he likes me, we’ll talk for hours etc. etc. But there are scant times in my life where reality has even come close to those expectations.
It’s almost a version of masochism. Pavlov’s dog has exhibited smarter tendencies than I have in such things. I get my hopes up, expect something good to happen, then I get the electric shock. Unlike that famous dog from the psychological experiment, I haven’t yet learned from the negative reinforcement. I work within the same patterns over and over and expect a different result. It’s easy to blame it all on someone else, but how could that possibly be fair when I am the only constant in each scenario?
I’ve heard that living a life with no expectations is no way to live, but I’m not quite convinced. If you don’t expect anything, you can live life without anything to tether you down. You can just enjoy great things that happen, and roll with the punches when they’re dealt. I’m hoping to condition myself to this new way of living. I saw Tom’s face in (500) Days of Summer and I knew exactly what it felt like. If I never have to endure that face again myself, now that is a life I can expect good things out of.
After just watching (500) days, have you thought about the fact that when you meet the right person (i.e. man who likes to interrupt people who are deep in the depths of Wilde wit), it won't matter (i.e. you frequent la parks, which only the homeless do)?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I have, Michelle, and maybe I...have.
ReplyDelete