Why are you like that?

Here’s what I don’t get: douches. Guys who act like they’re above everyone. They walk around with this air of importance. They haven’t even achieved anything, not the douches of my age anyway, and they think they’re all that AND a bag of chips. In reality, they aren’t even a half bag of chips. They’re barely even one chip.

There are few things more infuriating to me than a male douche. Sure, there are girls that piss me off, but never to the extent that a male with an air of conceit can. Specific examples of the type of actions I find particularly heinous:

1. Acting like any girl who isn’t a leggy blonde isn’t worth talking to
2. Rubbing other people’s shortcomings or misfortunes in their face
3. Not saying hi to people you know
4. Not asking for someone’s name after they’ve chatted you up for at least ten minutes
5. Thinking you’re better than anyone, everyone
6. Expressing your beliefs with total disregard for anyone else’s opinions or feelings
7. Saying things that aren’t socially acceptable yet thinking you have a pass

I could probably keep going, but I won’t (besides I hear seven is a lucky number, and I need karma after this rant). I think you get the idea, as all of these actions fit under one larger category entitled “Thinking you’re God’s gift to the world.”

Men like this bring out a very interesting side of me. My sarcasm is at an all-time high and borders on snark and/or snipe. The fangs come out, and the only thing that will satisfy them is to see a douche retreat with his tail between his legs. I don’t like what they do to me. I believe in treating everyone with respect and giving everyone the chance to voice their opinion. What bothers me is when other people don’t give me or the people around me that same chance. You forfeit your rights when that happens, and I have no problem letting you know it.

By the way, people might read this and assume that I’m singling out a particular person, or maybe more than one person. If you think it’s you, I quote Carly Simon, “You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you.” You know, without the word blog.