Google background check

You go to a bar and meet someone new. Your friend tells you she wants to set you up with her friend. You flirt with a coworker. Once you’ve established interest in someone foreign to you, what’s the first thing you do?

Be honest. You go home and you stalk them. You search for them on Facebook - though that has gotten surprisingly tough given the relatively new privacy options. And then, if that doesn’t yield anything, you turn to Google. You could know all about their past without ever having had a serious conversation about them. Question is: Is this good or bad? Does this help the dating process or set it back?

I suppose in some situations it could be a great asset. For example, if the other person was previous arrested in a stalking case. Or they wrote articles about worshipping Satan. Or they run a blog about buttons. Which is scarier? I’m just not sure.

But at the same time, what if you misunderstand something you read? You may make a judgment that keeps you from pursuing something with that person. What if the button blog was started in honor of your potential date’s beloved grandmother? You’ll never know he has a softer side than the sarcasm you saw in the bar.

I think back to the days before all of our shit was posted to the public. We had the ability to sit back and look at the person across from us and really get to know them. At our own speed. At their own speed. Is that a terrifying idea? Yes. But it’s also exhilarating.

This topic is sparked by a conversation I had with a college friend. I was telling her she needed to meet my male friend - that she would greatly appreciate his sense of humor. She then proceeded to google-check him out. The conversation evolved not into what she found out about him, but what people would find out about us.

So I googled myself, like the narcissist we all are. Nothing too crazy to find, but it does make you wonder how you look to other people. What would a potential suitor think about the TV column I wrote in college? Or the student film I made? Or the fact that an article I wrote about hooking up (yes, I wrote about this crap even before post grad life) was picked up by some female blogs?

And what if they, God forbid, found this blog? They would know all of my secrets. And by secrets I mean thoughts I elect to post on a public source. Alas, potential suitors aren’t enough of a reason for me not to share my neuroses. Maybe I’ll find that someone shares the same ones.