THAT moment

You know that moment? When you’re with a member of the opposite sex and you’re having a really great time. You look at them, and you feel something inside yourself inch over to the line that serves as the border to crush territory. You have a choice in that moment - do I leap across the line or do I hang back?

It’s an interesting conundrum I was in just this week. I was hanging out with someone for pretty much the first time, and we were really hitting it off. And it got me thinking, as I am wont to do. It seemed like there was a flirtation, possible interest. But I’ve tried to gauge that before and I’ve been very wrong. So when it comes to crossing the line, what do I do with that past knowledge?

Crossing the line means making a second decision - do I embrace my past mistakes and take this extremely cautiously, aiming for a friendship instead? Or do I forget about the past and treat this as a new situation in which anything could happen?

And suddenly I’ve debated an entire life dilemma in my head as I’m still talking to the guy in question. Ultimately, I’ve decided not to cross the line. I’m not giving up on it entirely, but I will not let myself go into crush territory. At least not until there’s more to go off of.

My guy friend said my philosophy should be to “let it marinate.” Feel it out, let it grow, give it time - those are all things most people’s friends say, but mine say let it marinate (I’d have it no other way). I think it’s a great idea - in theory. Because waiting is so hard. And I’ve waited 24 years. I’m fucking tired of not doing anything. Of crossing lines and not meeting anyone on the other side. So I’ll let it marinate. But I can’t promise I have much more marinade in me.